wow. . . my week in sumnation: (sans the monday. . . you already heard about the monday)
The last day of summer. I just sorta bummed around the house and got to bed at a sane time.
The first day of school. yayness! not very much whole lot happened. . . um. . . i went through with the hobbit costumeness. And it was much fun. I didn't get as many funny looks as I had expected, which was weird. And different. And strange. But many hugs were exchanged, so it was okay. Hugs are fun. They freak some people out, which is sad. It's like they never get hugged. or they never hug people. which is most sad. I thought about hugging the new Mr. Principal, but I didn't want to make a worse impression. So I didn't. Instead I ran up all hyper-like and shook his hand and said, "hI! I'm skyler! I go to lakeside!". And he was most impressed. I also thought about hugging Mr. Dunn, because he's cool like that, but I didn't. Compy Science II was fun. Honours Engrish was fun. Spanish was fun. And. . . Multi media computers/web design was fun too. But not as fun. A lot of the kids in the class are complete idiots who think they know everything. aforementioned = not fun people. If they *did* know everything and they thought they did. . . well. . . they'd still be annoying, but not nearly so muchly. And if they were complete idiots and they were honest with themselves about it, it'd be okay too. but. . .no. . . Stupid male computer nerds. Female computer nerds are cool, for the most part, but there aren't a terrible lot of them. . . . I think that was it for wednesday
We had a 6:00 XC practice, which was rather silly and insane. . . and I wasn't really planning to go, but Heather told Travis about it, and he said he'd take me and. . . not being one to refuse such a generous offer. . . I woke up a 4:30ish, took a shower, ate breakfast.. . left at around 5, got to the highschool at 5:30, waited around for half and hour, and watched as people slowly showed up. We had a pretty good turnout, considering normally only katie and ashley and. . . maybe erin and tristan and jason and mitch go to those. I bet we looked rather silly. . . 15-some people running down the streets of suncrest at 6 in the morning. So we ran. and it was fun. And we got back to the highschool and I went to classes and had Alegebra II and it was fun and. . the class was most excellent. . . it was only ten people, and most of them were in my geometry class, and I get along with them really well. And. . . I was voted class representative for that class (silly lakeside thing), which was fun and ego-boosting. But I wasn't voted class rep. for comp. science, which wasn't fun. So we had thursday and it was fun, as school is. And I enjoyed it quite a very much. Except when I ate lunch with shanoaha and had a bunch of juniors whistling at us and insinuating stuff. Shanaoaha is just a friend, umkay? And then Lindsay came and sat with us and it wasn't as awkward. And that was my day.
We had a picniccy sorta back to school thing, and it was most fun. We all went outside and ate food and tristan offered me his most-cool shirt in exchange for oral sex (five of them) . . . wait. . .*is stupid*. . . only 2 oral sexes. . . but, if I didn't want to do that. .. 5. . . hand-sexes. . . or a loaning of my hobbit costume. And the food was good. I wasn't really sure who I wanted to eat with. The only group of friends who wasn't eating with someone who I didn't really get along with was tiffany, shanoaha, jessica, and lindsay. christina and jamie and them were sitting with jeremy and heather and. . . bleh people. . . whereas kris and trathan were eating with nathan and daniel duke and. .more not fun people. So I ate with my fun friend's and felt rather like a fifth wheel, but had fun. . . and it was fun. Later I randomly walked around and met all the freshman and said hi to them and. . . this one girl randomly lent me her wristbandy thing. Which I still have. It has the Jackass logo on it. Doug thought it was cool and thought it was mine and offered to buy it. .. but it wans't mine. . .so I didn't sell it. . . and it was good.
I woke up earlyish to be going on my bike-ness over to the place where I wasn't really sure where it was. But I got there eventually, and it was most fun. Lauri's apartment place is very well decorated. I didn't see alex's place. . . so I can't really comment on its decoration. . . because I didn't see it. . . And then there was the other Doug, and he wasn't really *scary*, per se. . . just more. . . not good idea to be around sorta person. Like. . . he and his friend were flipping off and. . . yelling at passing motorists. And someone stopped and words were exchanged. . . we pretended we didn't know him. .. so it was okay.. . . we just randomly happened to be walking on the same stretch of sidewalk at the same time. . yeah. . . so we got to the pizza place, and met up with most excellent daniel and erika, and it was good. And we had pizza, and chicken fingers, and pop, and anchovies and. . . much fun was had with lighters. Anchovie's *don't* burn, it seems, despite their oiliness. And then there was the singing, which was fun. And the walking and the talking and the. . . well, that's about it, really. oh, the skipping, right. I forgot the skipping. So we all went back to lauri's place and had fun and it was fun and. . . then daniel and I meandered over to his house, and were at his house, and went target practicing in the nearby park with the bows and arrows that he has. Then we went back to his house and watched Dogma and Red Dwarf and went online for a bit and went to sleep.
I had actually planned to go to church or. . . somewhere Sunday, but I didn't, and it was most sad. Instead I stayed with the hanging out with the daniel and it was fun. So we did, and we ate meals, and scanned photo's to the Blu Skwerel Ckardses site and it was fun. People are actually posting now! yay!
and. . .sometime later daniel's mom gave me a ride home, and i got home, and here I am now.
My last three days have been most fun and exciting. Fun and exiting to the max. Too fun and exciting to take even a few minutes out of the fun and excitement to update my LJ. Yup. Just that fun. And exciting.
stuff skyler has eaten today: 2 bowls of cornflakes a peach a thing of iced tea a slice of cold pizza a dry block of ramen a guava-flavoured snow cone a chocolate-covered icecream thingy 1 pound of dead cow ribs ann's uber-spicy noodles some of katrina's Pirosky (sp?) some of ann's lemonade 2 bowls of chocolate ice cream a glass of lemonade some of the group smoothie. thing
wow. . . that's an. . . insane number of calories. I mean, the ribs alone had to be at least a thousand something. They were really big ribs! and it was a lot of them! And. . .I needed my meat fix. . . and I got my meat fix. and it was good.
Wow. I've had so many fixes in the last three days. I had my chocolate fix (thank you Mrs. Freeman!) saturday night . . . my cereal fix yesterday. . . my meat fix today. I've had several other fixes, I think, but I forgot them. I had my incense fix Saturday, too. And my up-late-staying fix. And my traumatizational fix. So. . . yeah. . . buncha fixes.
Pink Floyd's: 'The Wall' was so . . . there. . . I'm not even going to try and describe it. If you're reading this, you've either seen it or need to see it, so you know what I'm talking about. It was deep in a very deep and existential way. Whereas most deep, thought-provoking movies have some shallow, primary plot to appeal to the bulk of movie-goers. . . The Wall seemed to say "damn them. . . this is our movie. . . we get to do it how we want, mmmkay?". It was like. . . a mix between a music video and a musical. It had an itty little bit of dialoge. . . so . . . wow, that wasn't important, but I felt like saying it. . .
But, seriously, it was all-around a kick-ass movie. Despite what Heather and Travis say. Go watch it.
I feel like I need to watch it again. . . but I read somewhere that the experience isn't nearly the same the second time around. Like crack. You only get one real high. . . the rest are just. . . you trying to get the original one, and you never can, and it's sad.
Breasts are so very cool. I don't know why, but I like I can justifiably say that. Normally if I were to say it, I'd feel like it'd be a perverted, not-right thing to say. But when I said it just now. . . it seemed more. . . natural and less perverted. They're breasts. They're there. Whereas. . . I dunno. . . *trails off*
Sunday was actually quite uneventful. I didn't wake up until late, and I didn't really do much.
And today. . . I woke up later than I had planned, went to Pigfest . . . ate random food. . . saw Travis goth dude for the fifth time. And we had fun. He brought his finger armour! it was so much cool (not somuch cool. . . more of a so muchcool. . .) yup. . .
And after some time, I met up with courtney, leelee, gia, and katrina persons. And about 2 and a half minutes later, met up with ann. and there was much fun and rejoicing all around.
Riverfront Park is so cool when you're there with friends.
It's rather scary and depressing when you're there by yourself.
I'm really sleepy right now.
Nappy nap time for skyler
Goodbye summer!!! *waves* *hugs* *skips the pleasantries* *proceeds to have unspeakable with, and have unspeakable acts performed on by summer*
Today was fun, I think. It was edifying, if nothing else. And that's always good. Unless it's about something bad. But. . . more often than not, it's something you needed to know at some time or another, and it's better to learn it earlier than later so. . . edification = good. So today was good. But not neccessarily fun. No. Edification isn't always fun. nope.
We had cross country practice! and it was mandatory! and I was a wee bit late. Because I woke up late. But I got there. . . and they were just warming up. . . so it was okay. So I warmed up too. Then we randomly ran around and then up and down some hills and around the baseball field a couple of times, and then up and down a couple of more hills, and it was fun. Then I went over to the high school (well, I was already there. . . but shhhh!) and did my class registation. It was much fun. I saw the people I wanted to see, and avoided the people I didn't want to see. It was only 10:30-something. . . so the only people there were the non-4.0 seniors. Non-4.0 seniors who actually show up to preregistration = potheads. Yay! So I talked to my good pothead friends, and it was much fun. Other people were there too, but just the potheads for the most part. They had some sort of cheerleading practicy thingy going on, so I saw my good friend Shanoaha. And it was fun. They also had volleyball, so Megan was there. And. . . Rachel was there too, for whatever reason.
People skyler hugged today: Rachel, Megan, Shanoaha, Maranda, Heather, Adam, Maria, Ashley, random great aunt, Jonathan (Mckay), Aunt Lorraine, . . . I think that's it . . .
Pre-registration was fun. It looks like I get all the classes I want. Which is good. Except I don't really *want* spanish, but I have to take it anyway. Which is okay, because my parents want me to take spanish, and daniel's taking it so. . . I forgot where I was going with this. . .
After pre-registration, I meandered over to Couer d'lane to go to Uncle Doug's most excellent funeral. I feel sorry, never knowing the person, and sitting there, listening to his life story. So. . . we sat there. . . and listened to his life story. I'm amazed so many people showed up to the service. It had to at least been 300 people, if not more. Which is a lot of people. So we had a purty funeral. . . A great uncle read a eulogy-thingy. . . we passed the mike around, had relatives say nice things. . . then it got stupid. As you may well know, my mom's side of the family isn't known for its religious lifestyle. Doug wasn't church-going. Probably less than a third of those present had a faith in God worth mentioning. Doug's wife wasn't very religious, either. . . so I'm wondering why they had the service in a baptist (I think) church. . . oh well. . . So anyway, this pastor person gets started on this schpiel about God. Which is good, i guess. it's what pastors do. this guy wasn't like any Catholic priest or. . . Lutheran or Episcopalien. . . person I've ever met or heard before. No, he seemd more like one of those. . . loud, ". . . And then I was SAVED by Jeeeeeeee-sus' love. . . and I'm here to SPREAD the message to each of you here TODAY. . ." gospel-shouting personages. . . and he was really freaking annoying. . . He started out with the story of Martha and Lazarus. . . stopping every two sentences to say, "Now this isn't FICtion. . . I'm not MAKING this up. . . this is in the BIBLE! And it's true!", which get's annoying after the first time. At random intervals, he'd say how this related to Doug's life, and. . . he was pretty much saying that we were the "faithless jews" and he was Jesus, showing us the light and glory of God. What really pissed my mom off, is when the pastor said, "Now I know in Doug's last breath here on this earth, he gave his soul to god, and realized who is lord was and. . .". Basically, what he was saying, is that my mom's brother was a godless heathen his whole life, and we should convert now, lest we stay in the rut of . . . faithless infidelism. . .
The skyler_pie Show (WB, 5:00): skyler_pie (Jane Fonda) hits a novel with lady_door (Charo)'s soup. The week after, valatumbar (Harvey Fierstein) takes death_faerie0 (Jayne Mansfield)'s cousin on a date and ends up necking. Upstairs, ___haku___ (Willem Dafoe) and benman26 (Tiffani-Amber Thiessen) go waterskiing. Also, blue_mushroom (Robert Redford) cleans lhsanime (Drew Barrymore)'s apartment and ruins the computer. At the same time, asphodel_bb (Teri Hatcher) hits on nlduffy (Denzel Washington)'s co-worker. Everyone learns a valuable lesson.
Noreen! you just got hitted upon by the whole of the LHS anime club!
Oh, the wedding yesterday was much fun. A word of the wise, you get drunk a lot easier on an empty stomach. That, and guys from Mead have sexy hair and know my cousin. And. . . weddings are depressing. And my screen just died. Really! I nudged it with my foot, and it just sorta. . . died. all dead-like. But that's not going to stop me from writing the best LJ entry ever! nope. not a chance. nuh uh. I have a number of opinions on a number of different things. Like the ethics of putting your 3rd born son in a dryer and turning it on. Don't eat dish soap. Umm. . . Acid is bad for you. And you're not supposed to have soda during XC season,. So says Mr. Sullivan. LOOK BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR! IT'S OPENING!. I mowed the lawn today and I do't think I did a very good job, but no one ever goes outside anymore, so they won't care. my thihg hairs are growning back quite nicely. all purty-like. And my nose is all sniffley, which isn't fun. *sniff*. Oh yeah, in my dream last night, I fell in love witht this totall y perfect foreign exchange student from japan. We had to do this assignment together for English, and for some reason, she had already don e it, so instead of studying, we spent all of our time together gazing into each others' eeyes and being all lovey-dovey like. *sigh* . . . damny umm, i just deleted a bunch, but I can't see what I'm. . . typing so, I'm not sure how far back I went. Oh well. I should finish this post up sometime. Yes i should. XC sleepover at Ashely's house tonight. i like my teeth . USTA!!!
*sigh* My sense of time is so screwed up right now. I woke up around six, and freaked out, thinking I'd slept in until tomorrow evening. Which would be a lot of sleep. After awhile, I thought it was six in the morning of tomorrow. Because I'm stupid. Finally I asked chauncy what day and time it was and. . . turned out I'd only slept two hours, if that. And. . . that's probably all the sleep I'm going to be getting tonight. Because sleep is stupid. It promotes sloth and laziness.
My last 36ish hours have just gelled together into one really long day. That and my brain has almost completely died, so. . . don't hate me if I can't remember dates worth beans. I think I woke up Monday around. . . 7ish. Oh, that's right. Okay. Monday. Have I really not had a full night's sleep since then? Wow. That's . . . that's insane. Right, so Monday Travis, Ann, myself, and all the little kids went to see TTT at the Garland. There's just something about the sixth time you watch a movie that's. . . always special. . . the first five times are fun, but once you've watched it six times . . . it really starts to sink in and mean something. *sigh* *spaces off* *gazes at map of Spokane*. Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse is a really kick-arse book. It's pretty short, but moving and inspirational and much fun. Unlike Tale of Two Cities, which isn't that long, but it drags on forever, and doesn't really go anywhere. I need to read some stuff by Jack Keruoac (sp?). I hear his books are really good. btw, the first documented material on Buddhism available in Europe was a book called The Buddhist Catechism by a philanthropist person working with people in Sri Lanka (Ceylon, at the time, I guess). I just thought that was kind of silly. Or the temple-sangha-group did, anyway. I didn't get it at first. I had to ask Ed to explain it to me. Because I'm stupid and didn't know what a catechism is. Homily. Liturgy. Catechism. Eucharist. *sigh* how come Catholics get all the cool words? We get stuck with sangha and dharma and hondo and gasho and ojuzu and. . . and. . . silly Catholics. But we have cooler-sounding saints/famous religious personages than them. I mean. . . how does St. John even *compare* to Avalokiteshvra? For whatever reason, there won't be a service at the temple these next two weeks, so my mom kind of wants to go to the Vietnamese temple to see what it's like. I'd like to go to the one on 7th, but my mom says it's freaky and they believe some really strange things there. I'd still like to go sometime. I'll probably end up biking over there next week.
The Beatle's White Album really does sound like they were on drugs when they wrote most of the songs. Which isn't an altogether bad things . . . the songs are fun and inspiring to listen to. If not confusing. Drugs. Drugs. Even though I've never smoked pot or anything, I still have a pretty firm belief that natural highs can beat drug-induced ones any day. Like. . . for example. . . um, I think I'll be shutting up now. Yes.
So after we got back from the movie, I just sorta lazed around the house for the rest of the day. Wait, no. . . I ended up babysitting the kids again. We made ramen an. . . it seemed like they liked it. Geez, my brain keeps on dying. I know I did more yesterday, I just can't remember what, exactly. Oh, right. I took a nap in my clothe's I'd worn that day around six, woke up around eight in a really weird mood. . . took a shower, and went on a walk outside. Around the property. I didn't really feel like I was awake, or even present most of the time. It was like I was sleep-walking. I got back around 10:30, and griped at Travis for still being on the internet, when I'd asked for a turn before six. He kept on saying he'd get off, so I sat there. But he didn't really seem to be trying to end any of his conversations. And when he did, he tells everyone, "Oh, skyler's jealous of me right now. . . think I should give him a turn? I didn't think so either. . . but I really have to be going to sleep. . . so . . .". I finally got on around whenever, talked to my homies. . . and stayed on. For the greater part of the night and early morning. I still can't believe Lauri and Wessie were on so late. That's insane. It's like . . . being on late. *sigh* I really wish I had more conversational tact. There's this stupid voice inside of me that tells me you can have an honest conversation with girls about breasts without somehow offending someone. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to be perverted. Just trying to make idle conversation. God, I really. . .*sigh* need to know when to shut up a lot of the time. Most of the time. All of the time.
So after my intellectually-stimulating conversation with Lauri and Wessie, I went to my room and cleaned it. Then I made breakfast for meself and took a shower. And put a sheet up in place of a doorway and burned a lot of incense. You should have seen the sunrise! The smoke in my room was so thick you could see how dirty my window was just by looking at the light reflected by the smoke, if that makes any sense. Then I made two double mochas, drank them, and listened to random 45's I have laying around. and it was good. I left around 6:30. . . got to the garland around 8:10, and cursed my lack of timeliness. So, I went to the Northtown and hung out there for a little bit. Then went back to the Garland and watched previews. This one sort of scary woman told me that I had pretty hair. I said "thank you". Because it's the courteous thing to do. For some stupid, totally-random reason, I had trouble staying awake during the movie. I sort of slept between the wolf-things attacking the Edorasians, and. . . some time after that. But I was really awake when I woke up, which was cool. I don't know what it is about sleep deprivation that. . . lowers my . . .emotional wall, so to speak. I've watched TTT six times before, and I haven't been particularly moved by it. But this time. . . I was more into it, I guess. *sigh* I felt like crying when Haldir died and when Fanghorn found all the stumps of his old buddies. Even now, thinking about it, it makes me sad and. . . almost guilty, somehow. It also kind of pissed me off how much they were glorifying and making a joke out of death. "I've taken two souls from this world!" "Really? I just slaughtered 17 outright!" (outright. . . i'm not really sure what that means. . . but it sounds good there. . .). Granted, they're trying to save their people from the orcs, I don't blame them for killing them, but for making a joke out of it doesn't jive well with me. There's a lot of conflicting emotions in TTT. You have Haldir's very emotional and musical death scene, followed by Aragorn's *no! I avenge you now!", and 30 seconds later, people are laughing and joking about how many they've killed again. I dunno. . . lately I've been thinking about death a lot and how most religions just believe our body's are vessels that are made to wear out eventually, but they store inside them something immortal and. . . independent of their physical condition. There's something about accounts of gruesome death that makes me hate the world for allowing such things to happen. I remember the assembly we had awhile back against drinking and driving where they showed all the bodies with their brains spilling out and. . . telling us about a girl who was decapitated when her car flipped over and she was standing out the sunroof. I think that was sick of the school. They could have showed us fucking porn and scarred us less. Someone fainted, for God's sake. Don't you think there's a reason we do that? Do you think maybe it was her body telling her she doesn't need to see this, that it's only going to hurt her. That we don't need to see corpses prematurely robbed of their soul because of a driver's stupid actions. Soul. . . soul. . . I'm still not completely sure what a soul is. If we have one. Where it comes from, where it goes. What determines its quality. It's only in the last couple of years that I acknowledged other people as having souls. It had been my belief that other people were just. . . people. Everyone was just a stranger in a crowd, and none of them had that conscience that (supposedly) sets us apart from animals.
I think I was going somewhere with this. Yup. Or maybe I wasn't. Hmm. After the movie, my mom picked me up and we went to this thrift shop to buy hobbit clothes. I found a good pair of pants, undershirt, overshirt, and material with which to make a cloak out of. I've still yet to get a vest. I'll probably stop off at Value Village tomorrow and see what they have. Hobbits have. . . tweed vests, right? I remember reading that somewhere.
This is the first time my mom and I had really had mother/son time for awhile. I like to think my mom and I get along really well. We spend 3-4 hours with each other every sunday, and I feel completely comfortable talking to her about almost anything. On the way home we talked a lot about death and guilt and. . . general causes of suffering. We talked about Travis some and my mom gave a lot of good examples of relationships she'd had with people similar to Travis' and mine. Her advice was that he's only going to be home for another year, if that. I should just deal, because it's a skill you need in the real world. My mom isn't nearly intuitive as my dad about most things. . . she's home a lot more often, but she had no idea as to how Travis and I were getting along. Then there's my dad who's only home on weekends, and he still has a thorough understanding of most of our lives. He knows what I think about people just by the way I talk about them/to them.
This is rather long. I'd like to make it longer, but I really must be going to bed. Get to bike to the Garland again tomorrow. *sigh* I sometimes feel this guilt from really not having a life. I feel like I should spend my wasted time doing charity or. . . something that's conducive to the betterment of mankind. Or at least myself. I can think of little, if any, self-improvement I've made this summer. If anything, I've let myself become more corrupted by this and that and the other thing. I've let myself be more of an ass to people, and to stop caring as much as I used to. I've let myself become lazy, yet at the same time, expect too much from other people. Bleh on me.
I've been babysitting Chauncy and Miles pretty much all day, what with Travis being with Avril and Mom and Dad being in town. So. . . we've spent most of the day watching cartoon's and anime. And it's actually been a lot of fun. There's just something abotu little kids that brings you back to that carefree little-kid innocence. It's inspiring. So for lunch I decided to make ramen, because it's easy and yummy. We threw onions and chives and eggs and tofu and stuff in it, and it was really good. Over lunch, I randomly started talking to Chauncy about religion. He doesn't really know that much about "important" Christian happenings. . . he knows that Jesus was born on Christmas, from Christmas songs, but that's about it. He knows a bit more about Buddhism. Like the life story of the Buddha and. . . the spread of Buddhism through Asia and a thing or two of Buddha's teachings. So I asked Chauncy why he thought we had religion, and barely thinking about the answer, he said "Self-control". Which. . . makes sense, but it's not something you expect coming from a 9-year old. I asked him what he meant by that, and he said that religion's there so people don't do things they're not supposed to do. "Do you think you have religion?" "No." "So. . . what keeps you from killing someone?" "It's against the law" "So. . . why don't you lie?" "I don't want to lose my allowance" "So if we have laws to prevent us from doing bad things, why do you think we still have religion?" "I dunno. . . as a back-up? Because the people who started religions were important?"
"Hmm. . . what social stereotype would you say those people fall under? Kind of a . . . punk-goth thing without all the black. . ." "Maybe a fundamentalist punk, sure." "They have those?" "It's kind of a mix between Hawaiian-surfer dude and punk, don't you think?" "Hmm. . ." "I think you could call them 'weirdo's'." "Weirdo's? But they're . . ." "I think he's right. . . I mean, look at them!" "'Weirdo's'. . .I like it. It kind of connotates a sense of. . . weirdness. . ."
Daniel, Nick, David, and meself talking about the majority of college students who went to the Monty Python thing last night. You know the people we're talking about, right? The guys with the long dreadlocks and. . . beards and scary eyes. Not as many people wearing NIN and Pantera t-shirts as you might imagine, though. I noticed. . . all the guys with one kind of hair had. . . wore their hair in. . .the way suited to their hair. Like, the guys with Daniel-brown hair had about shoulder-length dreds and long, sometimes dreded, beards. The guys with hair like mine wore them in long ponytail type thingies. Guys with black hair had it short and spiked. Even being as weird as we (Travis, Nick, Ben, David, Candice, Jessica, Daniel and meself) are, I think we stuck out like sore thumbs to the stark contrast of the. . . predominant weirdness of the. . . weird people.
*sigh*. . . I'm amazed no one dressed up. But it was still a lot of fun. We had people shouting lines throughout half the movie. And people clapping during the Camelot song, which was much cool. *sigh*. . . no one else yelled "sexy" when God and Tim walked on. . . Goddamn repressed Python fans. . .
I just noticed chauncy *always* wears the same clothes. Because. . .he has all the same clothes. I was doing the laundry, and all of chauncy's clothes were yellow long-sleeved shirts and corderoy sorta pants.
Thank you jessica!!! *glomps Chii*
I feel like there's more I should say, but. . . I'm not really sure what it is.
If we had more girls like Chii, and more guys like Hideki. . . the world would be a happier place.
I think of the anime's I've watched, Chobits is my favourite. Cowboy Bebop and NGE and Escaflowne are cool. . . but they just don't compare. I don't know why it is about Chobits that I like so much. . . mebbe it's Chii. She's like "Chii!!!" and it's all optimism-inducing and uplifiting. Hideki is a lucky stiff. From what I watched at Tiffany's house, Oh, My Goddess! looks a lot like Chobits. Except. . . the guy winds up with this not-as-hot immortal chick. Some parts of Chobits are kind of sad, though. Like the City where No One Lives. From what I read in the manga, it looked kind of like a metaphor for. . . Chii. Which is depressing and not fun. The anime mentions a lot that the manga doesn't. So. . . Clamp writes the manga. . . and. . . I didn't catch the people who animated it. They don't really add much plot-wise. . .just random comic relief, which is cool. And fun.
Shinto looks like fun. But they don't have much in the way of religious texts or definite rules or. . . even a organized meetingness of the. . . Shintoists.
Now the Church of Satan, on the other hand. . . those are some precepts I could follow. . .
Wow. This Incon panel thingy is either going to be a lot of fun, or a complete disaster. So far I guess I'm doing it on Buddhism, Shintoism, Tao Teh Ching, and Confuicianism. The four intersect a lot in Japanese culture, it seems. Traditionally, weddings are done by a Shinto priest, while funerals are done by a Buddhist monk. Silly people. And then, Tao and Confucianism aren't really religions as much as philosophies and guidelines, which is cool. Come to think of it, my mom has a copy of Tao Teh Ching laying around somewhere. I should read it, because it seems so very cool.
*reads random passages from Tao Teh Ching*
To realize that our knowledge is ignorance, This is a noble insight. To regard our ignorance as knowledge, This is mental sickness.
Only when we are sick of our sickness Shall we cease to be sick. THe Sage is not cick, being sick of sickness; This is the secret of health.
That's like. . . uber-cool. For lack of a better word.
So Shinto is the indigenous religious. . . then Buddhism came in around 600 CE and. . . as it does. . . adapted pretty well with Shintoism. "Oh? Kami's, you say? Those are obviously manifestations of various Buddha's and Boddhisattva's." "Really? Right on!". *ahem* It's silly how many changes Buddhism has gone through in various cultures. Pretty much everyone had some other religion before Buddhsim got there. The Tibetans were all animistic and Bon-ish, so of course the Buddhist monks explained the spirits as being Buddhist mythological creatures, of sorts. So. . . you still see a bunch of Tibet's original Bon in Tibetan Buddhism.
Japanese culture is a lot of fun. I always feel kind of bad living in a country and in a family with absolutely no culture or tradition. The US in only however many years old and. . . has very few, if any, unique traditions of its own.
New York sounds like a lot of fun. I want to go to New York now. Or somewhere. I want to go somewhere. I want to. . . save up my money and just. . . go somewhere next summer. Maybe spend a week in Japan. *sigh*. . . I kind of wish I'd gone to that retreat thingy at Mukogawa. I haven't really done anything this summer, and it sounded like a lot of fun. *sigh* . . . what with my mom spending more time at home lately. . . I haven't had rides to temple. I biked once and. . . it was a lot of fun, actually. I got lost and ended up too far east, but I still got there on time. I think this Sunday I'll goto the 8:30 service at St. Al's, the 10:30 service at our temple, and the 1:00 service at the Padma Ling place that I've been meaning to go to. Religion is fun. Everyone should have it.
Ooh! Or could go to the Westgate community church and scare Rachel! Or. . . go to the Prince of Peace church and scare Tom! Or go to St. Anthony's and be like, "Yo, this was my dad's parish. Represent.". Like that. I'd only want to go to a big church service, because otherwise everyone would instantly notice me as that kid who doesn't go here. I'm pretty sure I stuck out at St. Al's, too, though. I just don't look Catholic. That and I sat in the 3rd to last back pew. But no one looked at me funny, which was cool. People said "Good morning" to me when the prist-dude said "Now say good morning to everyone!". And it was fun. I'm still freaked out by how much a Catholic service is like a Buddhist service (when we have a minister/monk over, anyway. . . Lay services suck). We open with a chant, have a sermon about impermamence or whatver, have a couple more chants, have a moment of meditation, and then end the service by throwing incense into a burny pot, thus symbolizing the destruction of worldy desires. And then we all go down to the basement and talk about fun Buddhist stuff all casual-like. Which is a lot like a normal Catholic service, if you replace the chants with hymns, impermamence with faith in God, meditation with prayer, and incense burnage with Communion. Religion is a silly thing.
I was talking to Noon about Buddhism in Thailand, and it sounds a lot different from Buddhism over here. You only go to temple when you feel religiously inclined, which may be serveral times a day, or not for months on end. But since it's, for the most part, their main religion, the Church and State get along very well. Most employers will grant religious sabbaticals of however long for people to go live as a monk or a nun for awhile. Which is cool.
It's awesome how well Buddhism and Shintoism get along. Why can't Christianity get along with anyone like that? It's like "No! Convert!". I guess, staying true to Christian dogma, it's kind of hard to find a half-way meeting place anywhere. *sigh*.
The Power Puff Girls are so totally hot. I want to ravage their prepubescant, ungodly superhero bodies. I want to hear them moan a stiffled cry of pleasure as I. . .
Racquet balls are entirely underrated.
Yes, today's anime club meeting was fun. Trathan was stupid and openly insulted the size of my genitals. If you're going to do that, you have to be subtle about it. You can't just say, "Oh. . . you have *2* small body parts". Trathan. . . he reminds me of people. . . Nice kids, just. . .
I really miss the younger me. I miss my (comparatively) carefree life I had as a child. From about 7 to 12. . . those were the years I really enjoyed. And what's funny, is looking back on it, I *knew* those were the years I'd enjoy when I was living them. For whatever reason, I saw older people, and I saw how unhappy they were with their pointlessly complex lives, and I knew that I'd be unhappy for the same trivial reasons when I was their age. Yet at the same time, there were so many things I was curious about and. . .*sigh*. . . I wouldn't say I've completely lost my innocence, and I'm definitely in no hurry to, but I just. . . liked life better as a little kid.
Secrets. A year ago, I had almost no secrets. I had very little I wouldn't tell anyone, and the secrets that I had normally involved other people. Maybe at the time, I thought I had a lot of secrets, and there were things about myself I didn't want people to know, but looking back on it, there's almost nothing I'd regret telling my parents or siblings or friends or enemies or random strangers I chanced upon in the street. But now there's all these things I don't want people to know. Things that I'll only tell close friends and. . . some things I'll tell no one. Granted, I'm not very good at keeping secrets, especially from my parents. My dad can just look at me and get a pretty good idea as to what I'm thinking. *sigh* I wonder if his absence this summer (only home on weekends, and spends most of the time with my mom) has changed me at all. In the past, my dad hasn't been exactly what you'd call a good role model, but he wanted me to learn from his mistakes. If I had a problem about anything, I could tell him and he'd never be judgemental, just offer his advice. There's NOTHING I feel uncomfortable talking to him about. There's things I wouldn't talk to Daniel about that I'd talk to my dad about openly. Or, that's the way it's always been in the past. Recently. . . I dunno. . . I just. . . it's not like I've done anything *really* bad or unexcusable or anything. . . I'd just as soon not have people know about . . . stuff. In the past, I had to get everything, no matter how embarrasing, about me off my chest. I would tell anyone, just so someone would listen. I would tell them. . . a lot of things they didn't really want to know. . . and I felt fine about it. But now. . . there's things I *don't* want to get off my chest. Maybe that's normal for y'all reading this. . . but it's a new, scary notion for me.
I'd talk about my day and night and morning. . . but. . . yeah.
*sigh* I mean. . . there's things I *do* want to talk about. . . but not here, I guess.
We have an anime club meeting and XC practice today. and I got half an hour or so of sleep last night. Oh well. I feel awake enough right now, I guess.
I've found that if I can get by 3, 4, and 5AM easily enough, I'll stay pretty awake for the rest of the day.
God, I miss Daniel and Ann. I wish people didn't have to go places. If that doesn't sound insanely stupid.
*sigh*. . . I have so many things I want to talk about. . . but I can't talk about them here and. . . I think I'll go write a long rant on one of my compy's upstairs.
I was just looking at this picture-framy thing we hanging up, and it was really depressing for some reason. It's. . . kind of a clock-shaped thing with pictures of my parents. Where the 12 would be, there's one from '75, where the 1 would be there's one from '76 and so on. And. . . I was thinking that 1975 . . . my parent's would have been juniors and seniors in high school. Which isn't really that long from where I am now. And I'm always freaked out by how much my dad and I looked alike. He had my hair (darker and longer, but it was still poofy like mine) and my same half-stoned-looking smile. And. . .my mom looked pretty much like she does now. Except she had the long, brown, 70's-ish hair. So. . . there were pictures once a year, every year after that. It's kind of weird, seeing your parents progress through the '80's. My dad stopped looking like me around. . . 24. He eventually cut his hair and it got darker. That and he grew a beard. in the early 80's. .. my mom had Candice, so there were 3 people in the picture and later there was travis, and then me. and it was really weird watching 12 years go by like that through pictures. You begin with 2 highschool lovebirds.. . and 12 years later, there's 3 kids, short hair, and their own life with its own responsibilities. Seeing that made me look at myself and where I'm going to be in 12 years. And I have no idea. It's almost a definite that I'm going to Gonzaga, though I have no idea what I'm going to major in. I still haven't the fuzziest as to my career, or what I want to do. And it made me think about how much of an opposite of my dad I am in that respect. His dad did metal work, I think his dad (my great grandfather) also did metal-work. . . it was pretty much a give-in that my dad would do metal-work. And he did. And he hated it.
So. . . my parents want me to find something that I'll enjoy doing. And. . . I don't really know what that is yet.
you know what he's been doing while I've been at the coast? He's read ALL of my trillian logs with EVERYONE. Which. . . would ordinarily bug me, as invasions of privacy go. . . but I had actually had some important. . . convo's there. . . as in things Travis REALLY doesn't need to know.
masturbation suicice sex erotic stimulus people you want to "fucking kill"
travis really doesn't (didn't, i suppose) need to know any of that
but see. . .here's the thing. i don't know if he knows i know he's been reading them. . .
but I don't know if he reads this, either.
so i'm shutting up now
i went to st. al's yesterday (today) and it was fun
i've been to a couple different churches. . . and I'm sorry. . .but catholic ones are by far the scarriest and filled with the scarriest people.
that and my sleep cycle is now officilally u-fcked up
I. . . had some thai food in port angeles. it was much yum. my mom and I are the only peoples out of us who care for thai food. chauncy and miles were like, "ick! it's spicy!" and dad thought. . . no, i take that back, dad liked most of it too.
um. . . we left. . . thursday around noon, met up with dad (who had been working in Seattle) at North Bend. Drove around a bit longer. Went on a ferry. Saw a dolphin. Spent the night. . . at a campsite somewhere. . . got up early the next morning. . . drove to the coast. . . hiked a couple-some miles down to our usual spot. . . made camp. . . ate, played in the tide pools, went on a hike, made a fire, made marshmallow's, slept. The next day (today, come to think of it) (wait! no! yesterday. . . because. . . today's sunday. . .silly skyler) we all got up earlyish and went on a long familyish hike. After breakfast. Mustn't forget breakfast. No, that would really be a crime. *stops listening to Les Miserables* It was. . . planned that we'd all go hike out to the island you can only go to during low tide, but as plans do, the plan went to Hell. . . first Chauncy randomly stopped and sat down. . . and we didn't notice until we were a good couple hundred feet down the beach . . . I ran back and asked him what was wrong. he wouldn't talk to me. because he hates me. so mom took him back to camp. Miles decided he wanted to go back too. and it was so. which was good, because dad and i could actually talk about stuff without the little kids. and we did. mainly. . . dad's life. . .his childhood. . .marriage. . . and kids. and we talked about parenting and how all of us have been raised differently. Like Travis and Candice. . . appearantly mom and dad were. . . not fun people to be around back then. they'd yell and. . . I'm not sure if they were ever physically violent. . . but it explains a lot about Travis and myself and how different we are. and Candice and her *resents*. which is funny because Travis absolutely adores dad. or acts like it, anyway. which. . . doesn't mean much, I suppose. . . so one thing led to another, and dad and I got to talking about religion and psychiatry and therapy and drugs and meditation and. . . religion again. . . Dad was telling me about this one kind of meditation that focuses on your breathing (well. . . pretty much all of them do. . . but this kind you REALLY focus on it) and I tried it later on in the car and it was some freaky shit. for lack of a better word. Dad's intuition can kind of scare me sometimes. Like. . . he can look at someone and instantly know if they're depressed or if they're a druggie or if they bike a lot or if they abuse their wife and. . . we were talking about ESP and psychicness and metaphysics and. . . I still don't completely understand dad's belief-system. which is okay, i suppose, being as i don't really understand mine. . . he's a big fan of the idea of a collective unconsciousness. that is, he explains, everyone being linked at the unconscious level. . . and acting out accordingly. and it explains stuff. like wars and random acts of goodness and religion and deja vu and. . .
yeah.. . so we got back to camp eventually. . . did some more oceany stuff. . . got packed up.. . and drove home. and now we're here. whee!
oh yeah. . . the meditation. after. . . doing it for however long (you lose track of time really easily) I lost all sense of space and. . . visual reality. normally i can "see" something in my mind's eye (in my head.. .in my imagination.. .whatever you call it) and. . . it's more-or-less like I'm looking at it. . . i think about someone's face. . . and I see their face. it's solid. it's there. it's them. but here. . . I could recollect someone's face, but only for a fraction of a second. it would instantly expand some infinite number of times. . . or warp past recognition. . . or shrink to being nothing but a dot in my imagination. it reminded me a lot of . . . a whirlpool coming into my brain. . . taking everything and distorting its shape and size. and it wasn't just faces. it was ANYTHING i tried to visualize. even my own body. i KNEW I was.. . . me; i could describe the shape and size of my body if asked, but in my mind's eye. . God, it was scary. i was a triangle, 4 sticks and. . . I don't recall having a head. If I tried to visualize my location relative to everything else, I KNEW i was in a car with my family, but if I tried to see my little brother sitting next to me, an infinite chasm of space would instantly open up between us. . . or he would grow (it wasn't like he was actually gaining mass. . . more like he was being looked at through a magnyfying glass) to the size of a small planet in the blink of an eye
This loss of touch with reality lasted. . . geez. . . a while. it was 10:30 when i started meditating. . . and 11:45 when i stopped. I was. . . aware of my surroundings the whole time. . . but I couldn't mentally perceive any of them.
and it was scary.
but I'd like to pursue it. . . maybe learn something from it.
but first i'd like to make some blackberry wine.
oh, that and i got bored on the ride home and. . . braided almost all the hair on my head into dreadlock-thingies. it took quite some time.
these past two days have been. . . bleh. yesterday, I didn't wake up until 11, and I spent most the day outside walking around. I didn't come back in until about 8, I ate dinner (oyster chicken and rice. . . yum) and chatted online until about 2 this morning. Today I woke up around 10. . . got up really quickly. . . and I'm not sure, but I think I passed out. I got light-headed and dizzy, fell back on my bed, and it couldn't have been more than a couple seconds. . . but I could swear I was somewhere else, and when I came to, I felt like I was being weighted down by lead. So I just layed there for awhile, completely awake, but rather dazed by what had happened. I went down to eat breakfast, but Travis, who doesn't appreciate people missing meals, told me to wait for lunch, which was in about an hour so. . . I went outside and walked around some more. Later I came back in and listened to Les Miserables. Normally, it's depressing. . . but today, it made me feel like crying. At the same time, it made me feel more aware. The music felt more real and. . . during each song I had a stronger sense of how they felt and why. . . Javert's Suicide, for example. . . normally when i listen to it, I just think about this guy who wants to escape his guilt. Today. . . it's hard to describe really. . . I felt like I was him. . . suddenly realizing that my whole life has been a wasted cause and. . . it wasn't fun.
I feel really bad not reading Les Miserables. I should sometime.
Then. . . we stopped off at Tiffany's to pick up the Cowboy Bebop DVD. And then to a library booksale. where I bought some books.